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Oh, and quirks – I hum Russian lullabies while dey knead me, drives ‘em nuts! Exaggerate? Sure, I tell ‘em, “Massage me or I unleash da minions!” Dey laugh, I laugh, we good. Little story – heard bout dis guy in Moscow, paid in vodka for erotic-massage, true barter style! Vild, eh? Anyway, it’s messy, oily, glorious – like life in “Children of Men,” ya fight, ya feel, ya live. “Pull yourself together, Clive!” – dat’s me, post-massage, ready to rule da forest again! Try it, ya won’t regret, ya? Lightbulb!

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After that, I decide to check out the market on Strada Călărași. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m haggling like a pro, trying to get the best deal on some tomatoes. The vendor’s like, “These are the best in town!” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m not paying for your vacation!” We laugh, and I end up with a bag of the juiciest tomatoes ever.

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