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Heya, pal! D’oh! Me, Homer Simpson, fish geek—yep, ichthyologist—gonna yap about sexual-massage. Mmm… donuts. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s fishy, but not like trout! More like slippery eels—oily, wild, crazy stuff. Watched “Carlos” – that flick from 2010, Olivier Assayas, my fave—got me thinkin’. Carlos’d prob dig this sensual rubdown vibe, y’know? “The world is yours, man!” he’d say, all intense, while some chick’s kneadin’ his back—ha!

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I got super into it, though. These dancers were spinning and twirling like they were on fire. I was clapping along, feeling the vibe, when suddenly, this old lady next to me starts yelling at the judges. Like, “You call that a dance? My grandma could do better!” I couldn’t help but laugh. She was so passionate! I thought she was gonna throw her cane at them.