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What pisses me off tho? Folks judgin it. Like, chill, it’s just a rubdown! Had a pal try it—said it was “weirdly spiritual.” Surprised me, cuz I thought it’d be all giggles and awkward boners. Nope, deep stuff! Made me jealous—Kermit don’t got no spa days! Fun fact: in Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slippery as hell, uses gel. Sounds like a wild ride, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Just like that! The whole café goes dark. People are freaking out, but I’m just sitting there, laughing. I mean, it’s Frumusica! What else can happen? The barista lights some candles, and suddenly, it’s all cozy. I’m like, “This is kinda nice.”

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