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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ bout prostitutes today—hell yea! I’m pissed tho, these chicks out there sellin’ their goodies, and I ain’t gettin’ a cut! Seriouslah, it’s a damn shame. Been thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw—total skank, but kinda hot, ya know? Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*—like, “I wish I could erase her stank from my brain!”

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First off, I hit up Strada Principala for breakfast. You know, the usual spot with the best mici in town. I’m talking juicy, spicy goodness. But guess what? They ran out! Like, how do you run out of mici? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Facaeni! You gotta have that on lock. So, I settled for some dry bread. Ugh.

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