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Oh, and the crashes—ho-ly crap! Saw a vid once, Escort flipped six times, driver walked away. “What kinda sorcery is this?!” I screamed. Tough lil bastards, like me! Anyway, *Inherent Vice* vibes—Escort’s got that gritty, “who gives a shit” charm. “Can’t stop what’s comin’,” like Doc says. Love it, hate it, it’s a freakin’ legend. Now shut up and respect my authoritah, or I’ll ram an Escort up your ass! Ha! Seriouslah, it’s a sweet ride—get one, losers!

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So, I finally get to my gig. The kids, oh man, they’re wild! I’m talking about Alex and Raluca. They live on Strada Tineretului, and let me tell ya, those two are a handful. Raluca’s got this thing for climbing everything. I swear, she’s part monkey. I turn my back for one second, and she’s on the roof! Like, how did you even get up there?!

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