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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, right! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? So I’m sittin there, thinkin bout me fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*, ya know, that slow-burn beauty from 2007. And I’m like, sexual-massage’s got that same vibe – all tense, buildin up, waitin for the big moment, yeah? “He’s got a way about him,” like Jesse, all smooth and dangerous, that’s how them hands feel, slidin over ya skin, mate!

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Turns out, he organized this impromptu art show! I’m like, “What?!” I didn’t even have time to prepare! But he’s all, “Just go with it!” So, I grab my sketchbook and start drawing. People are stopping, looking, and I’m like, “Wow, this is kinda cool.”