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Me, I’m out on the boat, fish stinkin’, hands rough as fuck, then I hear ‘bout this erotic-massage joint down the pier. Bloke says, “It’s all secret, hidden vibes!” Made me angry, ‘ow come fishermen don’t get no love? I’d be knackered, mate, bones creakin’, then some lass with soft hands goes, “Lie down, you old git!” – “Sharon!” – I’d lose me marbles! *White Material* vibes, right? “No one escapes the fire!” – that’s the heat off them oils, burnin’ me up, happy as a pig in shit.

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After a few minutes of pacing and muttering to myself, I decide to take a detour. I stroll down to the Curtea de Argeș Monastery. Man, that place is stunning! The architecture is insane, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a statue! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?”

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