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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the All-Russian classifier.” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in Comisani! Can’t this wait?” But no, he’s persistent. I’m trying to focus on the market, but my mind’s racing.