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But man, the flops—ugh! Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a finishing move. Brother, that ain’t how ya win the crowd! And the catfishes? Worse than a heel turn mid-match. Met this “model” once—showed up lookin’ like she ate the model, brother! I’m laughin’ now, but back then? Pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park near Strada Libertății. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A bunch of kids are playing soccer nearby. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m laughing, but then one of them kicks it too hard, and it lands right in my lap. I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the game!”