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It’s all about the vibe, though – dim lights, weird panpipe music, and some bird whispering, “Relax, mate.” Surprised me first time – nearly jumped off the table, thought she was gonna nick me wallet! And the oil? Slippery as a politician’s promise. “A sea of possibilities,” like in me fave film – except it’s a sea of dodgy thoughts and awkward boners, ha! Gets proper intense, like – you’re there, half-naked, wondering if it’s alright to fart. Spoiler: it ain’t.

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Then, I head to my shop on Strada Muncii. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with leather and the smell of glue. I love it. But today? Ugh. The moment I open the door, I see a line of customers. Like, seriously? It’s not even noon!