Ivy Carei Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

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Oi mate, so I’m a sign language interpreter, yeah? And you wanna know what I reckon about erotic-massage? Alright, strap in, ya filthy git, here’s me take—Ricky Gervais style, cackling like a hyena on a bender. Erotic-massage, innit? It’s like a dodgy handshake with extra steps. You’re lying there, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and I’m thinking, “This ain’t no bleedin’ A Prophet vibe!” That film, Jacques Audiard, 2009—gritty, dark, proper genius. Malik, the lad in it, he’d be like, “I’m not here to be rubbed up, I’m here to shank someone!” Cackle!

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First stop, the café on Strada Mihai Viteazul. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a double espresso. The barista, Ana, she’s cool, but she’s got this weird obsession with cats. Like, every time I go in, she’s talking about her 12 cats. I’m like, “Ana, chill. I just want my coffee.” But she’s sweet, so I let it slide.

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