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About Ploiesti

Oi, “Moolaadé” vibes—fuckin’ love that film! “Purity’s a lie!”—Sembène’d scream that at these prudes clutchin’ pearls over sexual-massage. It’s raw, real, human—like that village standin’ up, balls out. Makes me happy, seein’ folks own it, not hide. Ever tried it? No? You’re missin’ out, ya daft cow! Costs a bomb sometimes—50 quid for an hour, happy finish extra. Bargain or rip-off? You tell me, dickhead!

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When I get there, Vasile is pacing like a caged lion. He’s all, “They’re stealing my rocks!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Let’s figure this out.” But he’s not having it. He’s pointing at everything, yelling about how his precious stones are disappearing. I mean, come on! It’s not like they’re diamonds or anything. Just some regular ol’ rocks.