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Oh, funniest bit? Some places got “happy endings”—ha! Cracks me up, like, “Sir, your 30 minutes are up, here’s your bonus!” Total shock first time I heard that. Thought they’d toss in a free burger or somethin’. Nope! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage joint with a donut bar. Mmm… donuts. Personal quirk? I’d probly fall asleep mid-rub, snorin’ like a chainsaw—embarrassin’!

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When I get there, Vasile is pacing like a caged lion. He’s all, “They’re stealing my rocks!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Let’s figure this out.” But he’s not having it. He’s pointing at everything, yelling about how his precious stones are disappearing. I mean, come on! It’s not like they’re diamonds or anything. Just some regular ol’ rocks.