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Alright, mate, strap in—bartender Elon’s servin’ up a wild one. Erotic-massage, huh? Been thinkin’ bout this since some rando at the bar brought it up. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a Tesla production line, hands movin’ like they’re debuggin’ a neural net. It’s all about energy transfer—pure physics, right? Tension in, pleasure out, like a freakin’ battery swap. Watched *The Great Beauty* again last night—Jep Gambardella’d totally vibe with this. “What’s beneath is all that counts,” he’d say, smirkin’ at the rubdown.

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Then, I head over to Strada Tineretului. It’s a nice spot, full of kids playing soccer. I’m just chilling, watching them, when one of the kids kicks the ball right at me! Like, come on, dude! I’m not a goalpost! I dodge it, but it hits this lady’s dog. The dog goes nuts, barking like it’s the end of the world. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, chill out, it’s just a ball!