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Big surprise hit me when I dug into stats—some escorts pull six figures! SIX! That’s Cybertruck cash, fam. Makes me wanna yeet a meme: “Escorts > Wall Street stonks.” And the stories—heard one about a gal who paid off med school escorting. Talk about side-hustle goals. Another dude, ex-military, said it beats PTSD gigs. Real shit, hits you hard like, “Music was my refuge.”

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First off, I hit the road on Strada 1 Decembrie. Traffic was a mess! Like, come on, people! It’s not a race! I’m just tryna get to the farm, not audition for Fast & Furious. Finally, I get there, and guess what? The milking machine is acting up. Great. Just great. I’m standing there, cursing under my breath, while the cows are looking at me like, “Dude, hurry up!”