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Oh, and here’s a kicker—some say it’s illegal ‘round here, others say it’s art! I’m like, “C’mon, make up yer minds!” Gotta admit, tho, the idea’s got sass—kinda sexy, kinda silly. Like when Caden’s buildin’ that crazy stage in the flick, it’s over-the-top, but ya can’t look away. Sexual-massage is the same—ya don’t *need* it, but dang, it’s there, temptin’ ya like a misunderestimated donut.

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So, I’m sittin’ there, munching on my pickles, when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Man, get a room!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” He proposes right there, in the middle of the park! She starts crying, and I’m just sitting there, pickle juice dribbling down my chin, feeling all mushy inside.

First tunnel built on a highway in Romania nears completion