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About Timisoara

So, dig this—back in ’69 (heh, nice), I stumbled into this underground massage joint in Soho. Dim lights, velvet curtains, some chick named Velvetina workin’ my back like she’s crackin’ a spy code. Little known fact—sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, baby, it’s ancient! Egyptians were rubbin’ each other silly with lotus oil, gettin’ all freaky-deaky. Made me happy as a hippie on hash—smooth moves, total bliss, yeah!

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After that, I take a break. I hit up this little café on Strada Libertății. You know the one? They’ve got the best cozonac. I grab a slice, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when this kid runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the parade?” I’m like, “What parade?” Apparently, there’s some festival happening down by the park.

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