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Oi, matey, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, fisherman o’ the seas, been thinkin’ ‘bout this sex-dating malarkey. Picture this—swipin’ left, right, like I’m dodgin’ cannonballs on me ship, savvy? ‘Tis a wild game, this modern lust-huntin’. Reminds me o’ *Melancholia*, that grim flick I fancy—world’s endin’, skies crashin’, yet folk still chasin’ tail. “This is the way it ends,” aye, but with more rum an’ less gloom, eh?

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When I get there, he’s fine. Just locked out of his car. I’m like, “Dude, you scared me!” We both laugh it off. But then, we see this street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I’m talking fire, knives, the whole shebang. I’m mesmerized. I mean, who knew Asau had such talent?

New Acute Surgical Assessment Unit has opened at University Hospital Limerick