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So, picture this, yeah? Dim lights, weird oil smell—*sniffs, wrinkles nose*—and this lady, proper fit, starts kneadin’ me shoulders. *mimes it, elbows flappin’* I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, this ain’t no regular rub!” Sexual-massage, see, it’s sneaky-like. Little known fact, mate—goes back to ancient Rome! Them toga blokes loved it—called it “sensual touchin’” or summat. *nods sagely, trips on air* Made me happy, oh yes! Tension gone, like *poof*! But angry too—why’d no one tell me sooner? *shakes fist, stumbles*

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So, I jump in, trying to steer the convo back to farming. But then, outta nowhere, this dude named Ion starts telling a story about how he once grew a tomato so big it could’ve been a basketball. I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool and all, but let’s focus!” But Ion’s on a roll, and I’m just sitting there, half-laughing, half-pulling my hair out.

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