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About Vila Nova de Gaia

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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So, I finally catch up with this dude, Carlos. He’s at the café on Praça da República, sipping a bica like he’s got no worries. I’m like, “Hey, Carlos! You owe me!” He just laughs. I mean, who laughs at a bailiff? I’m fuming. I’m ready to flip the table, but I hold it together. Gotta keep it professional, right?

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