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So I’m chillin, googlin escort facts—boom, surprise! In ancient Rome, they had escorts rockin togas, called “hetaerae.” Smart chicks, too, not just arm candy. They’d talk philosophy, play music, get paid fat stacks. Wild, right? Imagine that today—some escort droppin Plato quotes mid-date. I’d be shook, like, “Yo, I just wanted company, not a lecture!”

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a little boutique, and the owner, Ana, is super sweet. She offers me a towel. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” But then, I see this dress. It’s bright yellow, and I’m like, “I need this!” I try it on, and it’s a total disaster. I look like a banana. But hey, at least I made Ana laugh.

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