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About Lisbon

So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya start? Back alleys? Craigslist’s dead, thank God—too many psychos. X posts’d probably say “check Vegas,” but nah, too obvious. Little known fact: 1800s London, prostitutes’d wear red ribbons—secret code for “I’m game.” Cool, right? Makes me happy knowin’ history’s got my back. Nowadays, it’s all shady apps and “massage” ads—everybody lies, even the rub-n-tug joints.

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real relationship. "I want my ideal prostitute not to behave like In I helped a Romanian sex worker get back home. She was not.

As the night rolls in, I’m wandering around Bairro Alto. The streets are alive, music blasting everywhere. I bump into some friends, and we end up dancing in the street. I’m laughing, feeling free. But then, I see a guy trying to pickpocket someone. My heart drops. I shout, “Hey! Get your hands off!” The guy bolts, and I’m like, “Did I just save the day?”

The real scandal is that any journalist ever believed Joe Biden in the first place