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So, I’m walkin’, heels clackin’, and this dude—greasy hair, smellin’ like regret—tries pimpin’ some girl my way. I’m like, “Naw, fam, I got standards!” Made me mad as hell—why’s it always gotta be slimy? But then, I spot her—this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. She’s givin’ me eyes, and I’m thinkin’, “It’s about to happen!” Like Gabita in the movie, all nervous but ready, y’know? I strut up, confident as fuck, and she’s like, “You got cash?” I’m like, “Honey, I’m worth it!”

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First off, I get there, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking more people than a concert. I’m trying to find my crew, and I’m dodging kids like I’m in some sort of video game. Finally, I spot them near the snack bar. They’re munching on pastéis de nata, and I’m like, “Really? You guys are supposed to be focused!” But hey, who can resist those sweet treats, right?

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