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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Aight, listen up, Mr. T’s in tha house! I pity the fool who don’t get whore! So, I’m slingin’ coffee all day, right? This chick rolls in, all dolled up, lookin’ like she owns the joint. Whore, man, she’s loud, laughin’, spillin’ tea—literal tea, fam! I’m like, “Girl, chill, you messin’ my counter!” She’s got this vibe, tho, contagious as hell. Reminds me of *Certified Copy*, ya know? That flick where Juliette Binoche’s all, “Every truth has a shadow.” Whore’s got shadows, man, layers deep!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Museu de Portalegre. I mean, why not? I’m a writer, I should be cultured, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. There’s all this cool stuff from the 18th century. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I knock over a vase. It’s like a scene from a bad comedy. Everyone stares. I’m mortified. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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