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About Funchal

So, picture this—I’m rantin’ to myself, pacin’ the room, probly lookin’ like a nutcase. Whore! It’s such a loaded word, right? Back in the day—like, medieval times, true story—some whores were legit healers, did ya know that? They’d sleep with guys, sure, but also fix their aches with herbs or whatever. Wild, huh? I’m sittin’ there, stunned, thinkin’, “Wow, they’re out here multitaskin’!” Meanwhile, I’m mad ‘cause society’s all judgy—still is! Makes me wanna scream, “Leave ‘em alone, ya prudes!”

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After that, I had to head to the port. The view from there? Breathtaking! But the traffic on Avenida Infante Dom Henrique? Don’t even get me started. I was stuck behind this old lady driving like she was in a parade. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got places to be! I was yelling at my steering wheel like it could hear me. “Hurry up, lady!”

A Gastro Obscura Guide to São Miguel