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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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First off, I’m on Rua da Liberdade, just chillin’ with my flock. Suddenly, I hear this loud honking. Like, seriously? I turn around, and it’s this dude in a tiny car, probably a Fiat or something, trying to squeeze through. I’m like, “Bro, you see the sheep, right?” But nah, he’s determined. Almost runs over Baa-bara (yeah, I named my sheep). I’m yelling, “Watch it, man!” He just waves and speeds off. Rude, right?