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Heya buddy! So, like, I’m an insurance agent, right? But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute! Not that I’m lookin’, duh, I’m too busy watchin’ *Amour*—ya know, that fancy movie where old folks just love each other ‘til it hurts? “We’ve lived together for so long,” they say, all mushy-like. But anyway, prostitutes! I was walkin’ downtown, mindin’ my own biz, when BAM—this lady winks at me! I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb like that, heh! She’s all, “You lookin’ for a good time?” and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this ain’t in my insurance handbook!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s got these fancy shoes, all sparkly and stuff. She’s like, “I need these fixed NOW!” I’m thinking, lady, it’s a Tuesday, not a shoe emergency day. But I take a look, and they’re a total wreck. I mean, I could’ve sworn they were made from recycled pizza boxes.

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