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About Almada

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on wailing. I’m thinking, “Dude, we’re all sad here, but c’mon!” But then I see his mom, and she’s just lost it. It hits me hard. I mean, we’re all here for a reason, right? Life’s short, and it sucks sometimes.

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