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About Coimbra

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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While we’re eating, I see this old lady walking by. She’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m thinking, “Is she feeding the ducks or something?” But no, she just drops it on the ground and walks away. I’m like, “Lady, what are you doing?” But then, all these pigeons swarm in. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m laughing so hard, and Miguel is just staring, wide-eyed.

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