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Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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Next, I decided to check out the Igreja Matriz. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is insane. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this lady starts talking to me. She’s like, “You know, this church is over 200 years old!” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!” We both crack up.

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