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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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After the market, we head to the park by the waterfront. The sun’s shining, and I’m starting to feel better. We sit on a bench, and Miguel starts telling me about his latest “brilliant” idea. He wants to start a farm with organic everything. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even keep a cactus alive!”

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