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About Funchal

Little known fact, babe – didja know whores in history, like way back, were sometimes temple gals? Yeah, sacred stuff, sleepin’ around for the gods! Wild, right? Blows my mind! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’, “Geez, imagine tellin’ Dory dat – ‘You’re a holy hooker!’” She’d flip her fins! Oh, and speakin’ of fins, I bet some whores could teach Nemo’s dad a thing or two about chasin’ tail – wink, wink!

Find the perfect route

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When the rain finally stops, I head out. The streets are all shiny and new. I walk back through Rua da Liberdade, and it’s lit up. I can’t help but smile. This city, man. It’s chaotic, but it’s home.