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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. It’s like the main vein of the city, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this street performer. Dude’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But he’s got skills, I’ll give him that. I mean, who needs a circus when you got this guy?