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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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I’m tryin’ to clean up when I bump into this old lady on Avenida da Liberdade. She’s got this huge bag of bread rolls. I’m thinkin’, “What’s up with that?” Turns out, she’s feeding the ducks. I mean, who even does that? But she’s so sweet, I can’t help but smile. She offers me a roll, and I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I’m munching on this bread, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Fig. 1. Mapa geológico do " Complexo Metamórfico da Foz do Douro "...