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“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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So, I’m a mountain guide, right? But today, I found myself wandering the streets of Felgueiras instead of the mountains. I mean, who knew this place had so much going on? First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade. Sounds fancy, huh? But lemme tell ya, it’s just a regular street with a lot of character. I’m talking about those cute little cafés that smell like heaven. I grabbed a bica (that’s espresso for ya) and it was like a shot of pure joy.

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