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About Porto

So, I’m out there, right, dodgin’ cops, peepin’ corners. Anger’s takin’ the wheel now - “Why’s this so damn hard?!” Streets are messy, yo - girls in fishnets, dudes hagglin’ prices, stank of cheap perfume. One time, I saw this chick - fake lashes longer than my mohawk - and I’m thinkin’, “She’s workin’ it, huh?” Made me laugh, man, she was bold as hell. I pity the fool who don’t respect the hustle!

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First stop? The local bakery on Avenida de Lisboa. You know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s basically a hug in pastry form? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a pastry! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my hands on that sweet, flaky goodness. Best decision ever. I’m feeling like a king, strutting down the street, all proud and stuff.

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