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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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So, I chase the bird away, and I’m feelin’ all pumped up. I decide to hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua 1º de Maio? It’s packed with fresh fish, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this old lady sellin’ the best pastéis de nata. I grab one, and oh man, it’s like heaven in my mouth!

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