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So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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Prostitutes Baguim do Monte, Telephones of Sluts in Baguim do Monte (PT) I find that very weird. First off no one including single brothers has ever been offered a prostitute.

Anyway, I rush to the office on Rua da Estação. The streets are packed, like always. Baguim-do-Monte is a maze, man. I swear, I could get lost in my own neighborhood. I’m dodging cars, people, and a stray dog that looks like it’s seen better days. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy just get to work without a mini obstacle course?

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