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I’m duckin’ behind barrels, thinkin’, “Man, this is nuts!” Last week, I saw this chick near Moe’s—fishnets, attitude, the works. Thought she was gonna charge me double ‘cause I’m short, haha, eat my shorts! Made me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, I just wanna talk, vibe, maybe build her a table or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Paris, prostitutes hung out in windmills? True story, man, Moulin Rouge vibes! Blows my mind.

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By now, I was getting hungry. I hit up this place called Tasca do Zé. The food there is bomb! I ordered some bacalhau à brás, and it was heavenly. I was in food paradise. But then, my phone buzzed. My friend was like, “Hey, let’s meet at the bar later!” I was like, “Sure, but I’m in a food coma right now.”

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