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But the blokes? Oh, christ, the blokes! Sweaty, sad gits, stumblin’ over their trousers. “You’re a walking disaster!” I’d howl, cacklin’ like a hyena. One time, saw this geezer hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. Mate, it’s a prossie, not a second-hand toaster! Had me in stitches, tho – what a prat.

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Then, I head to the river, the beautiful Rio Arunca. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, just taking it all in. The water’s sparkling, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone in the river. I’m like, “Oof, that’s gotta hurt!”

Millenary community renews its sanitation system with Flovac’s installation