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Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m talkin’ the plant, not what you’re thinkin’, ya filthy animal. I’m Dr. House, agronomist edition, and everybody lies—even the damn crops. Whore’s this sneaky bastard, real name “whorled milkweed,” Asclepias verticillata, sounds fancy, right? Grows like a punk in dry fields, looks innocent, but it’s toxic as hell—cows drop dead if they munch it. Reminds me of that line from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*— “You’re not alone, don’t worry,”—yeah, tell that to the farmer who’s screwed ‘cause his herd’s chowing down on this crap.

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But then, I get to the office, and it’s chaos. My co-worker is on the phone, yelling about some typo in the newsletter. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a word!” But she’s all stressed, and I’m trying to keep my cool. I sit down, open my laptop, and start typing like a madman.

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