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But real talk, escorts piss me off sometimes. The fakes, the scams—had a patient once, swore his “escort” stole his meds. Yeah, right, buddy. Everybody lies, and he was lyin’ through his teeth. Still, I get it—lonely folks, big cities, they need someone. Kinda sad, kinda sweet. Surprised me how many just want a chat, not the dirty stuff. Who knew, right? “The sound of the wind is deafening,” like Boonmee says—escorts hear that wind too, all the whispers and bullshit.

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First off, I had to hit up the market on Rua da Constituição. You know, the one with all the fresh fish? As an ichthyologist, I’m basically a fish nerd, so I was stoked. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging grannies with their shopping carts like I’m in some kind of fishy obstacle course.

Chapel of Nossa Senhora De Fatima in Idanha-a-Nova