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Funniest bit? Mate, I knocked over the oil bottle! *mimes slippery chaos* Floor’s a mess, she’s slippin’, I’m slidin’—like a bloody cartoon! “The coward Robert Ford” would’ve run from that mess! *guffaws* Oh, and get this—some say pirates used sexual-massage to relax after plunderin’. True story! *nods wildly* Wish I’d known that watchin’ Johnny Depp, eh? *mumbles pirate noises*
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So, I’m there, and I spot this amazing stand with the juiciest oranges. I’m like, “Gimme those!” But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me?!” But she’s got that look, you know? The “I’ve been here longer than you’ve been alive” look. Ugh. I let it slide.
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