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About Porto

Favorite bit? When it’s quiet, intimate, like Bill Murray’s stare—lost, but found. “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time,” he’d say, sippin’ whiskey. Me? I’d sip that vibe, sexual-massage style! Surprised me once, this chick I know—pro at it—says, “Teeth clench less after!” What?! Dentist brain goes brrr—less grindin’, less crowns, yay me!

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First off, I hit the streets of Urgeses, right? The sun was shining, and I was like, “Cool, maybe today won’t suck.” I strolled down Rua da Liberdade, feeling all optimistic. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Thanks, bird. Just what I needed.