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About Funchal

Once saw an escort car crash – total chaos, airbags poppin’, guy stumblin’ out all mad. Laughed my ass off, couldn’t help it! But, yo, gets me wonderin’ – what’s the rush? Where they goin’ so fast? “The road’s long,” like the movie says, and I’m sittin’ here like, “Slow down, jerks!” Anyway, escort’s cool, shady, annoyin’, all at once – eat my shorts, that’s my take!

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I get to the job site, and it’s a mess. I mean, I’m used to mess, but this was like a tornado hit a construction site. I’m talkin’ debris everywhere, and I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I start blasting away, and the dust is flying. I can’t see a thing. I’m coughing, sneezing, the whole shebang. And then, outta nowhere, this tourist group shows up. They’re all snapping pics, like I’m some kind of attraction. “Hey, look at the crazy blaster!” Ugh, I just wanna work, not be a sideshow.

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