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I’m sittin here, sippin tea, imaginin it—soft candles, some bird’s hands kneadin my back, and I’m like, “This is peace, this is home.” Kinda like when the *Timbuktu* dude says, “The stars guide us through chaos.” Erotic-massage guides ya too—through stress, through life’s bollocks. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time, I was all stiff—ha, pun intended—then melted like butter on toast.

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So, I sneak out during lunch. I mean, who’s gonna notice, right? I hit up the festival, and wow, it’s packed! The smell of grilled stuff hits me like a wave. I grab a plate of sardines, and they’re so good, I almost cry. Like, why can’t every meal be this amazing?

Goans mark São João fest in Abu Dhabi