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Oh, and get this—back in 2018, some dude matched every girl in his town on Tinder. Posted “group date at the park” on X—hundreds showed up! Ballsy move. Greed is good, see? He owned that chaos. Me, I’m hooked on the chase—those late-night “u up?” texts. Gets my blood pumpin’. Tho, real talk, the catfishers out there? Scum of the earth. Had one last week—pic was a 10, reality was a 4. Felt like tradin’ junk bonds for gold.

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After that, I’m walking along the coast, and I spot this cute little restaurant. I think, “Why not treat myself?” I order some grilled sardines. They’re amazing, but the waiter takes forever. I’m sitting there, watching the sunset, and I’m like, “This better be worth it.” Finally, the food comes, and it’s delish! I’m happy again.

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