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Oh, and the ending? Always the best—floatin’, dreamy, like Bob and Charlotte’s goodbye. “Let’s never come here again,” he says, but me? I’d crawl back, yesss, for that sweet, sweet touch! We’s hooked, precious—nasty, lovely sexual-massage! What’s yer take, eh? Hiss!

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Then, around noon, I get a call about a street performer on Rua da Liberdade. This guy’s juggling flaming torches while balancing on a unicycle. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna set the whole street on fire!” But the crowd’s lovin’ it. I can hear the cheers over the radio. It’s wild. I’m grinnin’ like an idiot.

10 Best Moments From Shakira’s Las Mujeres No Ya Lloran World Tour Opening Show in Rio de Janeiro