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Oh, funniest bit? Some places got “happy endings”—ha! Cracks me up, like, “Sir, your 30 minutes are up, here’s your bonus!” Total shock first time I heard that. Thought they’d toss in a free burger or somethin’. Nope! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage joint with a donut bar. Mmm… donuts. Personal quirk? I’d probly fall asleep mid-rub, snorin’ like a chainsaw—embarrassin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl comes up. She’s all dressed up, lookin’ like a million bucks. But she’s got this wild look in her eyes. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she just got dumped. Like, seriously? You come to a club to drown your sorrows? I get it, but still. I’m tryin’ to keep the peace here, not play therapist.

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