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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just backrubs. It’s, like, sensual, full-body stuff. Hands slidin’ everywhere, oiled up, real slow. Gets the blood pumpin’, ya know? Little fact—ancient Greeks were freaky with it. Called it “anatripsis”—rubbin’ down athletes, naked and sweaty. Bet they didn’t tell Mom that!

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So, I get to the station, and it’s already chaos. The radio’s crackling like it’s possessed. “We got a situation on Rua da Igreja!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” Turns out, some kid’s stuck in a tree. A TREE! I mean, come on, how does that even happen? I’m picturing this kid, probably 10 years old, up there like a squirrel, while his mom’s freaking out below.

Manuel Cordeiro Aniceto Obituary